inbox for victory_road

[onebetter]

username: LT.Griffin

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Comments

[marmoron]

right
so just too important to be sending a word of acknowledgment to the peasants
got it

[onebetter]

No.

You want the truth? I just couldn't figure out what to say yet. I didn't expect you of all people to get me of all people something for Christmas and I was kind of stunned.

[marmoron]

if you want me to ignore you that badly that can be arranged

[onebetter]

Honestly, I still feel like I'm on live TV being pranked. It's not that I want you to ignore me, it's just... what I thought things were always going to be like.

And now they aren't and even though it's for the better, even though it makes me happy, I think... I can't figure it out.

It's pathetic, I know.

I'd have sent you a message. You got ahead of me.

[marmoron]

dude
are you drunk what are you talking about
why is this so complicated

[onebetter]

I'm questioning my own sobriety now but considering I didn't have anything but water today? No, not drunk.

It's complicated because I'm making it complicated. Give me five minutes and I'll write it out coherently.

[marmoron]

ok
where are you exactly?

[onebetter]

Mahogany Town. Just got here yesterday, after a long week in a cave system.

[marmoron]

ok. warping over there.
stay where you are.

[onebetter]

[ Oh god. Oh god, really now. Now he'd like to get drunk, just to not deal with the humiliation.

But no. He's not a coward and he won't hide. ]

You don't even know where in Mahogany I am.

I'm coming to the Pokémon Center to spare you the search.

[marmoron]

fine
i'll be there in 10

[and more or less exactly on time, keith turns up at the mahogany town pokemon center with his houndoom in tow. time to look for a familiar possibly inebriated face.]

[onebetter]

[ James is there, waiting just by the entrance. Lilly is with him, faithful as always. The others have been banned to their Pokéballs temporarily to avoid a chaotic scuffle with Keith's team, should this go south some way.

James himself looks definitely not inebriated but kind of exhausted. He's been kind of exhausted since he arrived here, but he's extra exhausted now because caves are a lot but also because this Keith deal is eating him.

He raises a hand in greeting. ]

Hey. You're really going to make me outline my emotional baggage in person, huh?

[marmoron]

[buddy walks over to lily to sniff her in greeting. tragically, it's a lot friendlier than keith's greeting for james.]

More like I was trying to make sure what you were saying wasn't some existential cry for help. I can leave if you'd rather not talk in person.

[onebetter]

[ Seeing that the trainers are at least being civil right now, Lilly has no problem greeting Buddy in her usual enthusiastic style. Maybe if she just shows her trainer how to make friends, it'll even help somehow!

James meanwhile shakes his head. ]

No, it's fine. I'm fine, too. Just to make that clear. I was caught off guard and ended up being a bit too honest, I guess.

[ He sighs, deeply. ]

Let's start over. Thank you for the gifts. I was surprised, but pleasantly so.

[marmoron]

[the skepticism on keith's face remains etched on.]

You're welcome.

[but it looks like he's reached the end of his willingness to have this conversation at james' pace.]

Look. I don't know how else to say this, so I'll just put it out there that you're starting to remind me of me from back in middle school. Keeping to yourself all the time. I know you weren't like this back home during the war, too. You still hung out with your friends there. [a beat.] Not that we're friends -- I get it. You don't want to start over and that's fine. But why push everyone else away? Sure you're not gonna remember this place when you leave, but what's the point in being miserable by yourself while you're here?

[onebetter]

[ ... and that's a lot. A lot all at once. Momentarily, James just looks stunned. He's not really catching up with this new communicative and helpful Keith. This Keith who is just... a good person, even when James isn't inviting him to be. Arguably a better person to James now than James had ever been to Keith, even when he was trying.

That's so bizarre. All of this is so messed up. ]

Is this what you felt like when I tried to befriend you in sixth grade? No, scratch that, probably not, but... wow.

[ He runs a hand through his hair flop, exasperated with himself more than anything. ]

Though back up a second. I do want to start over, I'm just sabotaging myself. Which... feels weird to say. I really am the conflicted feelings loner now, huh?

[marmoron]

No, I wanted you to piss off back in sixth grade.

[he sighs, speaking in more neutral tones as he moves away from the warp tile.]

It wasn't your fault. Not at first, anyway. [he shakes his head.] But if that's how you feel, guess it's my turn to start calling you "emo kid" ?

[onebetter]

Hey. I never called you that.

[ That's his one pride point with regards to their middle school dynamic, even in this moment of emotional turmoil he won't let it be undermined! ]

If you insist on reversed position, you'll have to get your friends to call me it and never say anything against it, but also consistently use my actual name yourself.

[marmoron]

[raised eyebrow.]

...and you're correcting me on that because it's a point of pride for you that you actually called me by name?

[onebetter]

It's not like I have a lot of others considering how badly I treated you.

[marmoron]

[that's just getting this expression.]

Okay. I'm gonna stop you right there before you start congratulating yourself over low bars.

[a beat.]

So why are you making things complicated?

[onebetter]

[ James looks over to Lilly, off jumping around Buddy, as if she might be able to help him phrase this. A futile hope, of course. She is still a dog, even if an amazing one.

Alright then. It's on James now. ]

Making a long and whiny story short... I would really like to start over with you. With everyone. But a part of me is convinced that by doing so I'm giving up what I've got left of my life and it's making this way harder than it reasonably should be.

[marmoron]

[buddy, for his part, seems to be taking lily's enthusiasm in stride before settling down and growling softly -- evidently, even the doggos have some catching up to do. keith pays them no mind, his focus on james alone.]

Okay. I'm not following. What are you giving up?

[onebetter]

Nothing of value.

[ He shrugs lightly, trying in vain to diffuse the situation by giving it a casual air. Baring his soul to anyone is already bad enough, doing it to Keith feels, against better knowledge, like signing his own death sentence. ]

Just... identity, I guess. The person I've been up to now, the things I've clung to. I know that stuff isn't really worth this degree of protection, but... it feels like betraying the last few years to let go.

[marmoron]

[there's silence for a long moment. keith's eyes narrow.]

Because deep down you really do blame me and the others for what happened to Earth, huh.