inbox for victory_road

[onebetter]

username: LT.Griffin

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[marmoron]

[there's silence for a long moment. keith's eyes narrow.]

Because deep down you really do blame me and the others for what happened to Earth, huh.

[onebetter]

No, that's not--- That's not it.

I feel guilty being here and having any sort of fun when I haven't been able to save anyone yet. That's all it is. Promises of 'you'll do it in the future' are fine and all, but my brain isn't catching up. I still feel like I'm on vacation while I'm leaving my friends and family to starve on waning rations.

If I start over here, I've left my post. For good.

[ A sigh. He's looking at the dogs again, because that's easier. ]

I told you over text that it's pathetic, but hopefully you believe me now that I'm not saying that out of drunk stupor. It just is.

[marmoron]

[...ah. of course it'd be that. this is a feeling they shared before he fell asleep and woke up older and with more memories crammed into his head. keith stays quiet for a longer moment, though his expression shifts from vaguely accusatory to contemplative.]

I get that. It was the first time I ever found you relatable and all.

[he, too, looks away and towards buddy and lily with his arms folding.]

... but you should know that the feeling of betrayal? I don't know if it'll ever really go away, even after you know the war's over. It's just.. on a different scale, I guess.

[onebetter]

[ James huffs in empty amusement. ]

Well, at least that's an honest prognosis.

[ You can count on Keith to never be overly optimistic and right now, that's a blessing. ]

I was suspecting as much, to be honest. A war of this scale seems like it should impossible to bounce back from.

[marmoron]

That's not what I meant. So long as it exists, the universe will always keep moving forward. People will always persevere and heal from the scars of the past whether you're there or not.

[onebetter]

You sound like a fortune cookie.

[ The line comes out before he can stop himself and think better of it. ]

Okay, no, seriously. Thanks. I've got a lot to figure out, but I think I'm ready to actually start doing it.

[marmoron]

[his tone is bone dry.]

Do I? Good to know that helping thousands of aliens rebuild their worlds would only amount to me sounding like a cheap cliche in Chinese takeout. I'm leaving.

[onebetter]

[ You insisted on coming in the first place James wants to protest but that's not in the spirit of rebuilding his bridges. Goddamn. ]

Wait. If you already warped here, can I buy you a meal? Belated Christmas present or something.

[marmoron]

Why? So you can patronize me for a little longer?

[onebetter]

[ James is instantly not sure anymore if building bridges is actually worth it, but he's on this track now and it may be his best chance. Time to bite into the sour apple. ]

No, to get to know you again. Properly. Politely, I promise.

[marmoron]

[his expression has "DOUBT" written all over it, but:]

Fine. But only if you tell me why you have an allergy to just saying you're sorry.

[onebetter]

... I'm going to actually need a drink for that.

[ That comment is mumbled more under his breath than anything. Then there's a pause and James feels a little like he's preparing for an execution, but it's fine. Probably. ]

I am sorry. I always feel like actions are better than words in this regard, but... I probably just hate being wrong.

[marmoron]

You come across like a dick.

[god. even commander lahn apologized, pull your shit together james. but he does start walking towards mahogany town proper with buddy following close behind. as they approach a diner, he pauses.]

This place any good?

[onebetter]

When I was starving after coming out the mountains yesterday, it was. I'm going to assume my opinion wasn't too misguided.

[ Making vague dry humorous comments counts as establishing a good atmosphere, surely.
And thus, it's time to enter the small establishment. ]

[marmoron]

[the snark practically writes itself, though keith knows better than to give it voice without further provocation. he enters after james, peering around the inside of the cozy diner.]

Looks alright.

[a server comes to greet and seats them at a corner table and leaves them with menus.]

So did you have some kind of epiphany in the mountains about your life? What made you decide you care about getting to know people now?

[onebetter]

[ James stares at the menu, only briefly meeting Keith's eyes to acknowledge that he's heard the question and is engaging in proper conversation. ]

Kind of? The mountains weren't directly related, I'd been musing about it before. Just that a week inside a lonely cave system really makes you miss people more. I miss my friends. My own friends. But they're not here and the people who are here... well, the things I was mad at them for aren't really their fault. Judging by the Christmas mail, a lot of you are still willing to help me out and I should stop pushing those efforts away.

[marmoron]

[he raises an eyebrow, then looks at james over the top of his menu.]

You seriously haven't apologized to Pidge yet.

[james you are the most underwhelming person sometimes... all the time. though the mention of gifts from friends does have him eyeing his backpack. he sighs and tugs at the zipper.]

[onebetter]

We had a civil conversation a little while back.

[ So that's a no on the apologies. James also doesn't really feel that inclined to give one though, the conversation with Pidge hit a lot of nerves both ways. Glossing over it seems like the more agreeable choice. ]

I think we're cool now.

1/2

[marmoron]

[... can he just pretend to have given allura's gift to james. can he get away with that?

keith lets his expression do all the talking for him for a few seconds.]

2/2

[marmoron]

[wordlessly he hands over a wrapped gift.]

Speaking of people who are still willing to help you out. It's from Allura.

[should james open it, he'll find a tub of hair gel and a note that begins “Keith said you’d like this and I trust his judgment because he’s known you so long" and goes into a sweeter message.]

[onebetter]

... oh.

[ That makes the fourth christmas present he's received? James is starting to feel like he'll sink into the ground in shame sometime soon, but he swallows the sentiment down and carefully opens the package.

Against all conflicted feelings, the contents do make him smile. ]

I'll message her after we finished eating. This is sweet. Also I'm not sure if your gift recommendation was meant in entirely good faith, but you're absolutely correct that I have good use for this. Thanks.

[marmoron]

[the mild reaction gets a momentary look of surprise.]

Well she didn't believe me entirely anyway.

[he hands over a second wrapped gift, this one containing a grooming kit, a package of cookies and an orange fleece blanket.]

[onebetter]

[ WHY SO MUCH, he'd been having a good time believing at least somebody didn't go ALL OUT while he didn't even think of Christmas because he didn't consider anyone here a loved one.

James looks a little startled by this, but then he just shakes his head in mild exhaustion. ]

And I'll add her to the list of people who should be getting belated return gifts, good god. This is way too thoughtful.

[marmoron]

[that's what I thought, too -- a sentiment best kept to himself. but with presents handed over, keith zips up his bag and puts it back on the ground. he hoists the menu back up, apparently very preoccupied with that now.]

Yeah, well. That's Allura for you.

[VERY PREOCCUPIED INDEED.]

Okay, since we're on that topic. If you're gonna talk to her, don't be an ass.

[onebetter]

I have no desire not reason to disrespect her.

[ He'd be staring intently at Keith expect Keith is buried in his menu so the whole locking eyes dramatically thing falls flat. ]

She's been nothing but kind in the times I've met her and she's got nothing to do with the issues that are specific to Earth either. Also she's a Princess and I respect rank.