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[ Mad...? That's further than James had gotten in his thoughts so far. Really, it feels downright bizarre that Keith would feel so apologetic for having startled him, when in the past he'd pulled a flaming sword on James. That had been worth apology, but now... ]

I'm not the one who got attacked.

[ He's just putting the thought out there, cautiously, keeping his voice matter of fact. The wolf had scared him, yes, but in the end... nothing had happened. Keith merely ran past him. James would be pretty pathetic to be in worse shape than Keith is, just over that. ]

You... I don't like that you hid this from me, but right now... You got attacked by two types of creatures and ran for your life down here. That seems to be of higher priority to me.

[ While talking, James slowly gets off his bed and walks over to Keith's. Cautious, just waiting to be rejected again. ]

Edited 2019-05-31 02:00 (UTC)

[Perhaps to James' surprise though, Keith doesn't comment on his approach and instead stares up at him warily.]

I already told you. I wasn't hurt. [A beat.] And I wasn't scared either.

[It's stated with grit, but not hostility.]

We went looking for trouble, alright? I thought -- she said some things that reminded me of [My life.] ... She said she blanks out whenever she's threatened. I thought she might've been like me is all. Wasn't expecting.... [Keith shakes his head, looking away.]

I already know it was dumb, so you don't have to beat me over the head with that. I didn't mean for you to.... [Deep breath, deep breath.] Look, I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry.

[ Not being rejected in his approach is... nice, really. A good change of pace. Emboldened by the lack of hostility, James climbs onto the bed and sits down next to Keith. He keeps a reasonable distance, as if dealing with an easy to startle animal (and isn't that quite the comparison now?), but some conversations are better had in close proximity instead of across a room.

The story sounds, well, very like Keith. And James would indeed be scolding him for being stupid and putting someone else in danger, but... Not now, not like this. ]

Okay. [ It's James' turn to take a deep breath. ] It's okay.

[ That seems like the most important thing to get out first. ]

You just ran past me. Nothing happened. You don't need to be sorry for that.

[That's a degree of intrusion into his personal space that Keith wasn't expecting. As James takes a seat on the mattress, he freezes up, shoulders rounded as he tugs his knees closer.

None of this is adding up in a way that makes sense. Why isn't James backing off or leaving? Where's the outrage over not being told he was rooming with a werewolf for months? Where's the --

Keith forces himself to take another deep breath. His thoughts are going a thousand miles a minute and all they're doing is crashing into each other and setting off more chain reactions in the process. He bites his lip, closing his eyes for a few seconds before replying.]

.... you don't have to come closer just to prove a point, you know.

[ Just when James stopped expecting Keith to be predictable, Keith decides to fall exactly into the expected pattern. Leave it to Keith to give James whiplash every second of the day.

The pattern this is now following is James' least favourite. No matter what he does, it always falls under this uncharitable umbrella of 'proving a point' and 'making himself look good'. Keith is so insistent about that, James could almost start believing it himself. It's irritating to be constantly second-guessed this way, irritating and destabilizing. Luckily James has better sense than to sigh at it now.

Fine. If this is how Keith wants to spin it, James will play his game. He breathes deeply once more, never averting his gaze from Keith, even if Keith isn't meeting his eyes. ]

Maybe some points are worth proving.

[His gaze remains focused solely on his hands, like there's an invisible barrier around him that keeps the rest of the world out so long as he stays where he is.]

Aren't you supposed to be scared. I could bite you any time.

[His voice is flat, quiet. It's not a challenge by any means, just a simple repetition of facts that they've both read in their textbooks about magical creatures. Lycanthropes are dangerous and cursed creatures.]

You didn't bite me when we were in middle school together and hated each other. You didn't bite me in the months we lived together. You didn't bite me earlier today when you were running in a frenzy and I was in your way.

[ While he speaks, he scoots closer, until his side is nearly touching Keith's. Because yes, maybe now that Keith has brought it up, he does want to prove a point. ]

If I'd just met you and found this out about you right after? Yeah, I'd be scared. But that isn't the case. You had ample reason to bite me for basically all our lives and I'm still here. Hard to be terrified now.

[He registers the movement closer in his peripheral vision, and only breathes again when James stops.]

You weren't worth dying over.

[Because that was surely the end result of transforming around anyone. Even now, surrounded by all sorts of magical creatures and entities, it's still hard to shake the need to keep everything suppressed and hidden so that people don't turn on him. Still looking at his hands only, he takes another deep breath.]

[ Dying, huh... Well, his father surely would stop at nothing to get rid of the werewolf that dared attack James, so this isn't an unreasonable statement. Keith didn't know about his father though.... There's a story here and James, at some point, wants to hear it. ]

I'm still not worth dying over, so there's nothing to fear.

[That's weirdly self deprecating from James, regardless of context, and it gets Keith to glance over if only for a brief moment. Maybe it isn't that weird. James has been thinking a lot of self deprecating things that he hadn't imagined the other capable of doing back at Arizona.]

You -- [Averting his eyes again.] So you're really going to insist on this friends thing? Even now?

I am.

[ And as sad as it is that Keith is so incredulous about it, it does help James to contextualize all the mistrustful assumptions Keith makes in regards to James' attempts. Maybe it isn't entirely James, maybe it isn't entirely the past they share... Maybe it's just Keith and whatever happened in his life far away from James' view. ]

I've got a lot of questions about all of this, but that one, I am sure of.

[The stubborn as hell answer is something he's come to expect from James for... well, for whatever reason. It'd never really taken root as anything particularly meaningful -- or at least, it was never allowed to become anything to count on as having real depth.

Hearing this same thing affirmed now leaves Keith feeling like someone's reached into his body and pulled out part of his soul and put it in his hand where it's crawled up into the fetal position, all vulnerable and scared. Inexplicably, he wants to laugh, but he doesn't really know at what or why.

Throat tightening, Keith swallows dryly.]

You... really are an idiot, you know that.

[....which shouldn't make him smile, but he does so anyway in secret.]

[ This time, James does heave a sigh, deep and exaggerated. It's a sigh of relaxation more than it is of frustration, in actuality.]

Right back at you.

[ In truth, none of Keith's current concerns are particularly idiotic, but Keith has racked up enough dumbass points that James can call him one without guilt anyway. ]

You keep shaking up what I think of you, but it's nice to have that constant.

[The way this conversation is flowing is familiar. Banter and insults back and forth, and it helps Keith find some solid footing again after an earthwuake. He doesn't look up, still looking only at his hands which he opens and closes.]

You just made a lot of assumptions about me. Not my fault you're wrong a lot.

Guess so, but even you have to admit that this one was wildly out of left field.

[ James likewise begins to relax some more, now that the atmosphere is more familiar and Keith doesn't quite seem like he's coming apart at the seams anymore. ]

[He takes a deep breath, letting it out in an audible sigh.]

So what do you think about me now? No sugarcoating.

[The question feels wrong on all levels. He never cared what James thought of him before, never cared what James thought at all. As nonchalant as he wants to be about this, and as indifferent as he wishes he could be about the answer, part of him can't and won't relax until he knows.]

[ That's... a loaded question. James stays silent for a moment, considering how to answer. Wondering if he himself knows the answer. It's not like he spends every day trying to put specific words to his relationships to people - or rather, if he does try it, Keith rejects those terms, so now.... Hm. ]

You're a walking minefield. I never know what to say around you and you always take me by surprise one way or another. Just when I thought I figured out your pattern, you turn out to be a werewolf.

[ Saying it so flippantly is James' attempt to make himself get used to the thought fast, but it's not really working. It just sounds bizarre said out loud. ]

It drives me crazy that you won't trust me.

[ And that's probably the core of it all. James isn't sure he really wants to hear any answers to it, so he continues quickly. ]

You're a lot of fun when you're not busy driving me up the wall or uprooting all my thoughts. I'm not taking back the friend thing.

[There's a long silence after that. Various retorts come to mind with varying shades of annoyance, though he says none of them. Instead:]

What do you want me to trust you with?

[ Aaaand, of course Keith latches onto the very part that James wishes he hadn't said. James looks hesitant only for a brief moment, before he decides that there is no way back now. ]

My intentions. Every time I try to prove to you that I'm being sincere, you seem to decide it's just all part of me faking it for the sake of my own ego.

I have nothing to gain by simply fooling you. You could kill me if you thought I was using you, why would I ever risk it?

[There'd been a different response in mind entirely, but that final hypothetical question gets Keith to finally look over at James.]

So you are scared of me.

No, but I am appealing to your sense of logic to please finally believe me.

[ That reply comes without hesitation or faltering as James meets Keith's gaze evenly. ]

[Keith holds that stare for a long moment, eyes narrowed. When he speaks, his voice is low as he gestures to the picture of him and his dad that his child-self had drawn weeks ago.]

My dad. [The phrase feels odd coming out of his mouth again.] He was my only family and he never once told me anything about this. Never told me anything about my mom. I never had a single reason to doubt his intentions until the day I realized what I am.

who are you in comparison, James? I trust you as much as I can. Why is that not enough?

[ James holds the stare for as long as he can, but when Keith talks about his father, he falters. Every new part of Keith's life story is worse and less relatable than the one he heard before. ]

Seems like that question is mutual. Heh.

[ What else can it be but amusing, that they fumble around each other so badly, and that they both never feel like it's enough for the other? How is that the one thing they somehow relate on? ]

I just never had anyone who always assumed the worst of me before. And I know that sounds completely benign and ridiculous to you. It just means something to me, because I've been trying.

[ It makes James feel small. He hates nothing more. ]

I'll just have to do as I ask and trust that you trust me, huh? I can... I can do that.

[Keith continues to look directly at James for another moment after the other is finished talking. In the past, he would have immediately pointed out that it's James shouldn't be acting like there was never a valid reason for the distrust between them in the first place. He still feels that part of him launching this protest in the back of his mind, but instead he looks away and sighs.]

I know you're trying. Just accept that I'm trying too.

That's fair.

[ Trying to get rid of the vulnerable tension inside his mind, he stretches his upper body a bit and leans back against the wall properly. ]

... thanks. For telling me all of this.

[ Keith could have lied to him and he'd have been none the wiser. The idea of someone he's known this long being an outland creature had seemed preposterous to him only this morning. ]

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