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daybreakacademy
James GriffinUN: j.griffin
STATUS: College Undergrad
ACCOLADES: Student Council Vice-President
BIO: Aspiring Garrison Rune Guard officer.
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James GriffinUN: j.griffin
[The sun is just starting to set over Soleil when the door to their dorm room opens and Keith walks in much earlier than usual. He doesn't know what time James usually comes back to their room after classes are over, but he's hoping that there won't be any signs of his roommate because he just wants to be alone for a little while.
Any small hopes are immediately dashed, however, by the sight of James seated at his desk. Keith doesn't say a word, but his shoulders slump in disgruntled disappointment as he drops his bag on the floor and simply goes to lie down on his bed, face buried in the pillow. He's been feeling on edge all day, ready to snap at every minor grievance and every odd look cast his way, and it's starting to be exhausting.]
Any small hopes are immediately dashed, however, by the sight of James seated at his desk. Keith doesn't say a word, but his shoulders slump in disgruntled disappointment as he drops his bag on the floor and simply goes to lie down on his bed, face buried in the pillow. He's been feeling on edge all day, ready to snap at every minor grievance and every odd look cast his way, and it's starting to be exhausting.]
[ James startles a little at the sound of the door opening so much earlier than he'd expected. He'd been getting used to Keith avoiding their room a lot and this feels markedly unusual. Keith just ignoring him is less strange by comparison but it doesn't help either.
He turns on his chair to glance at his roommate.]
Did something happen?
He turns on his chair to glance at his roommate.]
Did something happen?
[Of course silence had been too much to wish for, despite his best attempt to simply radiate an aura of don't talk to me. The pillowcase feels cool against his forehead, the bed soft underneath his weight, but the comfort doesn't have much of a soothing effect on his nerves.
He has half a mind to snap shut up at James, but he knows that's only going to draw even more attention to himself and James isn't a total fool. Eventually he's going to notice a certain regularity to this and if there's one person he can't possibly risk finding out ... it's his stupid rules abiding roommate.]
No. I'm just... tired.
[A blatant lie. He's awake as hell; thanks to moon's pull tonight. Really, he's just hoping to sleep straight through it. Glancing up a little to look out through the window, he wonders if it might still be worth going to the local pharmacy to get a sleep aid of some sort, but the sky's already searing shades of orange as the sun dips beneath the horizon.]
He has half a mind to snap shut up at James, but he knows that's only going to draw even more attention to himself and James isn't a total fool. Eventually he's going to notice a certain regularity to this and if there's one person he can't possibly risk finding out ... it's his stupid rules abiding roommate.]
No. I'm just... tired.
[A blatant lie. He's awake as hell; thanks to moon's pull tonight. Really, he's just hoping to sleep straight through it. Glancing up a little to look out through the window, he wonders if it might still be worth going to the local pharmacy to get a sleep aid of some sort, but the sky's already searing shades of orange as the sun dips beneath the horizon.]
[His eyes glance towards James briefly and then resumes watching the darkening sky.]
Why? You worried I'm gonna get you sick?
[Of course James would be worried about something like that impeding his studies or whatever. Keith represses the urge to just groan into his pillow and curl under the blankets.]
Why? You worried I'm gonna get you sick?
[Of course James would be worried about something like that impeding his studies or whatever. Keith represses the urge to just groan into his pillow and curl under the blankets.]
[ That has James sighing. ]
Of your many talents, the one to always read the worst possible intention into everything is truly the one that's shining brightest.
[ He'll actually get up to stare more closely at Keith lying in the bed for a moment. ]
I was going to ask if you need a tea or medicine or something.
Of your many talents, the one to always read the worst possible intention into everything is truly the one that's shining brightest.
[ He'll actually get up to stare more closely at Keith lying in the bed for a moment. ]
I was going to ask if you need a tea or medicine or something.
[James approaches and instinctively, Keith sits up as well, arms crossed over his chest, immediately defensive and all but literally growling as he, in no way, wants his roommate coming over to come literally look down his nose at him.
It takes him another second to remember to relax. This isn't anything he has to worked up over and all he's doing is making it weird. So... he breathes out, dropping the staring contest about three seconds into starting.]
I do my best.
[It's a little dry, a little flat.]
Thanks for the offer. You don't have to do any nice guy gestures.
It takes him another second to remember to relax. This isn't anything he has to worked up over and all he's doing is making it weird. So... he breathes out, dropping the staring contest about three seconds into starting.]
I do my best.
[It's a little dry, a little flat.]
Thanks for the offer. You don't have to do any nice guy gestures.
[ James sighs and rubs his forehead at the hostile way Keith dismisses him. Or well... maybe it is not as hostile as James interprets it being, it's just hard to tell between them. ]
This amount of care is normal, just so you know.
[ And having it dismissed as posturing is annoying James a bit more than it should. ]
This amount of care is normal, just so you know.
[ And having it dismissed as posturing is annoying James a bit more than it should. ]
But it's not normal.
[The retorts out of his mouth before Keith can think better of it. Anger gives way to a momentary lapse as he grits his teeth. It's not normal -- not for him, and that's just the problem isn't it? Nobody fucking offers to make tea for sick roommates back at the group home, nobody offers to go on a medicine run. If anything being sick meant additional goddamn scrutiny to make sure you weren't faking it to get out of something or some plot to get access to medication.
But that's not the world James is from, and for the life of him Keith can't explain to himself why the assertion that he's off here burns as much as it does. His hands ball into tight fists because he knows he's said too much already and doesn't want to talk about it.]
Not between us anyway.
[The retorts out of his mouth before Keith can think better of it. Anger gives way to a momentary lapse as he grits his teeth. It's not normal -- not for him, and that's just the problem isn't it? Nobody fucking offers to make tea for sick roommates back at the group home, nobody offers to go on a medicine run. If anything being sick meant additional goddamn scrutiny to make sure you weren't faking it to get out of something or some plot to get access to medication.
But that's not the world James is from, and for the life of him Keith can't explain to himself why the assertion that he's off here burns as much as it does. His hands ball into tight fists because he knows he's said too much already and doesn't want to talk about it.]
Not between us anyway.
[ James bites the inner side of his button lip in frustration, taking a moment to reply. If he responds right away, it'll just come out aggressive and bring them right back to where they started - right to those days before he'd come to understand Keith's circumstances just a little better. James wants to make amends, but Keith continues to be a tough guy to get along with. ]
Do we need to hang on to what is 'normal' between us? Isn't that just going to make our time here a living hell?
[ Would it kill you to at least pretend to be nice to me? ]
Do we need to hang on to what is 'normal' between us? Isn't that just going to make our time here a living hell?
[ Would it kill you to at least pretend to be nice to me? ]
Implying this isn't already hell?
[This is a bad conversation to be having right now. Outside the sky's darkening up and the silvery light from the moon's starting to shine. Keith has a handle on his temper most times, but a full moon isn't one of those times and he's already starting to feel so fucking frustrated with himself that he just wants to rake his fingers down his face. He doesn't though, and instead grips the pillow tightly in his hands.]
Sorry. I-- sorry. Okay? I'm sorry.
[This is a bad conversation to be having right now. Outside the sky's darkening up and the silvery light from the moon's starting to shine. Keith has a handle on his temper most times, but a full moon isn't one of those times and he's already starting to feel so fucking frustrated with himself that he just wants to rake his fingers down his face. He doesn't though, and instead grips the pillow tightly in his hands.]
Sorry. I-- sorry. Okay? I'm sorry.
[ It's difficult to tell what comes as a bigger hit here, the harsh question or the quick amendment. James swallows hard. The apology is something, but it does very little to mend the feeling that Keith was speaking his honest mind before. ]
... you're not. I'll leave you be.
[ And true to his word, he turns back to return to his desk - though his studying mood is kind of gone. ]
... you're not. I'll leave you be.
[ And true to his word, he turns back to return to his desk - though his studying mood is kind of gone. ]
[As James turns on his heels, Keith immediately snags the other boy by the wrist. If Keith were thinking at all, he'd have simply just let James go because the outcome is something he actually wanted, but something about that accusation needles him enough that he's holding onto a fistful of cotton and forearm before he truly knows what to do with it.]
You think I'd apologize just to placate you? Who the hell do you think you are?!
[Breathing hard, Keith closes his eyes trying to forcibly douse some mental ice over his own thoughts. Calm. Calmcalmcalm.]
Look. [Re-establishing eye contact, the anger of his tone has gone, but the forcefulness remains.] I said something stupid and I'm sorry.
You think I'd apologize just to placate you? Who the hell do you think you are?!
[Breathing hard, Keith closes his eyes trying to forcibly douse some mental ice over his own thoughts. Calm. Calmcalmcalm.]
Look. [Re-establishing eye contact, the anger of his tone has gone, but the forcefulness remains.] I said something stupid and I'm sorry.
[ And just like that, he's locked in place. James stares at Keith's hand in disbelief. It seems like neither of them can ever really let things rest. Always needing to have the last word. James knows deep down that he should have taken the apology, but he's getting seriously fed up with Keith's attitude and old habits die hard.
James tries to keep his tone even, tries to not escalate further even if his words won't quite cooperate. ]
Feels bad, right? Having someone second guessing your attempts to get along better with them.
[ He's trying, he's trying hard and it's not fair that only Keith wants his attempts recognized while rebuffing James' all the time. Making James feel their past over and over - and he feels guilty, he does! But is he really a hopeless case that can never be trusted to do better? Or is Keith just being a judgmental dick again? ]
James tries to keep his tone even, tries to not escalate further even if his words won't quite cooperate. ]
Feels bad, right? Having someone second guessing your attempts to get along better with them.
[ He's trying, he's trying hard and it's not fair that only Keith wants his attempts recognized while rebuffing James' all the time. Making James feel their past over and over - and he feels guilty, he does! But is he really a hopeless case that can never be trusted to do better? Or is Keith just being a judgmental dick again? ]
Edited 2019-03-25 00:17 (UTC)
[There's a long moment of silence where Keith simply keeps holding onto that wrist, half wanting to squeeze it tight enough to snap bone, half wanting to just let go and pretend this exchange never happened. For once he knows he's in the wrong and damn it he tried to apologize, so why is he still getting kicked for it?
His grip tightens a little, not enough to hurt but enough to be uncomfortable, and it's another moment before he loosens his grip entirely and lets his arm drop back down to his side.]
And if you were me... you'd just accept a sudden change of heart, huh.
[It's not an accusation for once. It's an eanrest question.]
His grip tightens a little, not enough to hurt but enough to be uncomfortable, and it's another moment before he loosens his grip entirely and lets his arm drop back down to his side.]
And if you were me... you'd just accept a sudden change of heart, huh.
[It's not an accusation for once. It's an eanrest question.]
[ It gives James pause, but only for a second. He doesn't need to think about his answer, not really, he's just surprised he's being asked to give it at all. ]
Outwardly, yes.
[ He sighs a little, simply buying himself time to put words to this. ]
I wouldn't trust it. But I'd not question it out loud and just see how it plays out. Evaluate the attempt.
Outwardly, yes.
[ He sighs a little, simply buying himself time to put words to this. ]
I wouldn't trust it. But I'd not question it out loud and just see how it plays out. Evaluate the attempt.
I noticed. We're very different.
[ James is sick and tired of being called fake, but in this one context he might need to admit that Keith has a point. Sometimes being polite means to pretend. Sometimes being a well-adjusted person just means to pretend. ]
And it pisses me off.... but I don't want to live like this. So tell me what I need to do to make this work.
[ He won't guarantee that he'll do it, but it's evident that his approach is getting them nowhere. ]
[ James is sick and tired of being called fake, but in this one context he might need to admit that Keith has a point. Sometimes being polite means to pretend. Sometimes being a well-adjusted person just means to pretend. ]
And it pisses me off.... but I don't want to live like this. So tell me what I need to do to make this work.
[ He won't guarantee that he'll do it, but it's evident that his approach is getting them nowhere. ]
[That isn't what Keith was expecting to hear and for a moment the surprise is bare and transparent on his face.]
What are you trying to get out of me? I already tolerate you.
[Though given a second of thought, it's pretty clear that his definition of tolerating James is insufficient. Keith sighs, then tries to add just a pinch more helpfully.]
If you want me to stop snapping at you, maybe stop acting like you have any idea what you're talking about when you say what is or isn't normal.
What are you trying to get out of me? I already tolerate you.
[Though given a second of thought, it's pretty clear that his definition of tolerating James is insufficient. Keith sighs, then tries to add just a pinch more helpfully.]
If you want me to stop snapping at you, maybe stop acting like you have any idea what you're talking about when you say what is or isn't normal.
[ It's only at the last second that James can actually hold himself back from protesting that he does know what's normal. ]
I can do that.
[ Most likely. Probably. Maybe. Fake it 'til you make it, right? He'll live up to his bold claim somehow. ]
You already snap at me when I just try to be nice, though.
I can do that.
[ Most likely. Probably. Maybe. Fake it 'til you make it, right? He'll live up to his bold claim somehow. ]
You already snap at me when I just try to be nice, though.
Huh?
[ This in turn totally catches James by surprise and it shows on his face. ]
In the context it sounded like you meant I was posturing as a 'nice guy' persona that I'm not.
[ And he's fairly confident most people would read it this way. He thinks. God, Keith is making him doubt himself. ]
Nevermind then?
[ This in turn totally catches James by surprise and it shows on his face. ]
In the context it sounded like you meant I was posturing as a 'nice guy' persona that I'm not.
[ And he's fairly confident most people would read it this way. He thinks. God, Keith is making him doubt himself. ]
Nevermind then?
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