onebetter | Inbox for daybreakacademy

Hello, James.
Would you happen to be free right now?

Sure.

Did something happen?

[ 'Right now' is urgent and urgent usually sucks at this school. ]

Oh no! I'm alright, I'm so sorry to worry you.

I just wanted to chat with you about something, specifically a memory of mine that Keith saw.

[ a moment later: ]

I'm...trying to be more honest with my friends, and this is something that I believe I can trust you with. I'd rather you hear it from me than him, even if I don't think he would deliberately say anything about it to anyone.

He understands wanting to keep some memories and feelings private, yes.

Do you want to come over? I'm alone in my dorm room at the moment and you don't sound like you want to have this conversation in public.

Yes. I'll be over in a moment.

[ give her a few minutes to walk on over to the other dorm, and james will hear a knock on his door. ]

[ The door is opened pretty much immediately, James has been waiting. ]

Hey. Come in.

[ He moves to let her step inside. The room is orderly, more orderly than usual because Keith has taken most of his belongings to the Outlands. The doggie bed is existent but empty. ]

Take a chair if you like.

[ ana steps inside and pulls up the chair for keith's desk. she sits up straight, hands on her lap, balled into fists. ]

Thank you for having me. I...hm. I suppose I'll just come out with it. I don't want you or anyone to feel sorry for me; I'm telling you because I think it might explain a few things.

[ such as why her self-confidence is so low, which she thinks james may have noticed from their time in the infirmary. she takes in a deep breath, silently. ]

Keith saw a memory of my father walking out on me when I was younger. Years later, my mother followed suit. I lived on the streets for a little while until the shopkeeper you saw in that memory took me in. I lived with him in that attic for four years, until he sent me to Daybreak.

[ .... well. If he ever thought Ana reminded him of Keith in some odd ways, this... really does explain it. James sits in his own chair, across from her, and listens in silence. His expression is serious. ]

That's a hard story... I'm glad you're here now. If there is one thing this school knows to provide, it's decent living conditions.

[ she lets out a sigh after she tells her story. it's...a lot to retell, but she's trying to shove those memories to the back of her mind. it feels strangely relieving to get it off of her chest. ]

Oh, I most definitely agree with you there.

[ she clasps her hands together and squeezes them. ]

I don't know what happened to my parents. ...I'm not sure if I'd like to find out, either.

[ she looks up at james. ] And yet, I still want answers. I just don't know if I want to invest my time into searching for them. Funny, isn't it?

I can't claim I understand what you're feeling, but I think it makes sense that you don't want to give them any more of your time and attention, even if that meant getting closure.

It seems like... that's more than they deserve, if they left you.

[ Though he has no idea why they did it and if it was malicious. It's probably easier to think that it was, at any rate. ]

Hm. You're probably right.

[ she thinks on this for a moment and goes quiet. there's a lot she wants to say, but she thinks she's said enough. ]

Anyway, that's that. Thank you for hearing me out. It feels a little nicer to not have to hide that from you.

Man, you're really casual about all this. That's not meant to be an insult, I'm just impressed.

[ He knows not everyone would be able to talk about it with this much reflection and distance. He also doesn't know enough about mental health to pinpoint that this may not be solely healthy. ]

Oh?

[ she hadn't realized it. it's probably because she's repressing her emotions right now, and she's repressing them hard. she just blinks though and shrugs. ]

Well... I'm just the sort of person who doesn't like to dwell on these things. I don't want the past to define me. I don't want to waste my tears on them after everything they've done.

[ This is really... almost unsettling? James is used to emotions and trauma being expressed violently and wildly like with Keith and Toki. Ana's just... she sounds like she is merely talking about her breakfast. ]

That's really mature. Not that I didn't think you would be mature, but... congratulations.

Is it?

[ she shrugs, which probably doesn't help her case, but. ]

Congratulations aren't needed, but thank you. I'm just...tired of it, really. Perhaps that's why I'm giving you this sort of impression.

After Nightfall is over, you can start a new life for yourself from here anyway. It's an elite school and you've now got contacts to Secret Societies all over the globe. Garrison included. I still plan to recommend you, after all.

[ And then she won't have to be tired of it anymore, because it will be past and forgotten. That's how James thinks it should ideally work. He's been coming to realize that for most people it's not that simple, but maybe... for once... ]

You...you are?

[ she sounds so surprised. she hadn't been expecting him to do that for her. it takes her breath away, and she takes a moment to look at him incredulously. ]

James... I...

[ she's bad at this. she's so bad at this, but she can't just sit here like a fool!!! ]

Thank you. That's...thank you.

... it's not a problem, you know? I mean, I know you're good at it, I'd be an idiot not to suggest you.

[ Saved his life and all that, too. That'll probably look good at a letter of recommendation. ]

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