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daybreakacademy
James GriffinUN: j.griffin
STATUS: College Undergrad
ACCOLADES: Student Council Vice-President
BIO: Aspiring Garrison Rune Guard officer.
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James GriffinUN: j.griffin
[ The snapping does not come as any kind of surprise to James. He already knows that taking too many steps towards Keith will result in this exactly. Which is why the softer expression that follows really throws him off.
Keith must be shaken up badly for this to have such impact on him. For a second, James is silent, chewing his lip, unsure how to proceed best. ]
I don't think a snowball reaction like that can be reasonably 'your fault', but... alright. I won't meddle. You should get some rest.
Keith must be shaken up badly for this to have such impact on him. For a second, James is silent, chewing his lip, unsure how to proceed best. ]
I don't think a snowball reaction like that can be reasonably 'your fault', but... alright. I won't meddle. You should get some rest.
No, you don't understand it--
[Cutting himself off with a sigh, he gives up on standing and goes to sit on the edge of his bed.]
Never mind. I....
[He takes a deep breath as he scoots back until his back hits the wall and his knees are pressed to his chest.]
... hope you weren't too freaked out by the wolf thing you ran into.
[Cutting himself off with a sigh, he gives up on standing and goes to sit on the edge of his bed.]
Never mind. I....
[He takes a deep breath as he scoots back until his back hits the wall and his knees are pressed to his chest.]
... hope you weren't too freaked out by the wolf thing you ran into.
[Yeah, Keith is definitely far too upset for James' liking. Usually when he sees Keith upset, it's anger, not... this. This is genuinely concerning in a way he's not sure he knows to handle. ]
I was pretty shocked, but it's fine. Guess we both learned to be more careful around here in the future. Meeting the wolf just really made me realize how much I wasn't prepared.
I was pretty shocked, but it's fine. Guess we both learned to be more careful around here in the future. Meeting the wolf just really made me realize how much I wasn't prepared.
[Keith brings his arms around his knees, hugging them tight to himself. It feels as though his body is being pricked all over as his "concern" spills over into lies and cowardice. He doesn't like the person it implies he is, doesn't like the fact that he's willfully letting James be afraid of him unknowingly.
But he also doesn't like the idea of James deciding that they can't be roommates anymore. Or that he has no right to be at Daybreak Academy at all. Doesn't like the fact that maybe James is right to think that.
But then again despite everything that James had said about wanting to be friends, he always knew that would come with massive footnotes and exceptions. So what idiotic thing is he even holding onto here?]
...You won't see it again.
[His voice is quiet, stress written into every line of his tense body language.]
But being prepared is good.
But he also doesn't like the idea of James deciding that they can't be roommates anymore. Or that he has no right to be at Daybreak Academy at all. Doesn't like the fact that maybe James is right to think that.
But then again despite everything that James had said about wanting to be friends, he always knew that would come with massive footnotes and exceptions. So what idiotic thing is he even holding onto here?]
...You won't see it again.
[His voice is quiet, stress written into every line of his tense body language.]
But being prepared is good.
Edited 2019-05-31 01:11 (UTC)
[ This isn't normal, this isn't normal at all. The air in the room is heavy and oppressive with whatever negative emotion is practically oozing off Keith with every word and movement. James finds it suffocating. He's a person who likes knowing what's going on, he likes understanding people and interacting with them based on defined social rules. Keith has thrown these rules out the window long ago, but now even the makeshift Keith-only ruleset that James has made for himself doesn't seem to apply.
And on top of all that, Keith isn't even making any sense. ]
What exactly do you mean by that?
And on top of all that, Keith isn't even making any sense. ]
What exactly do you mean by that?
[Fuck. So James is really going to make him spell this out for him, huh? Tense, anxious and feeling dizzy, Keith grips his knees tight, trying to suppress the burgeoning desire to scream. He can still walk away and take all of it back, and for a split second he doesn't know how to deal with this choice that James has given him than to be consumed another burst of anger for making him fucking walk off the metaphorical cliff himself.
He looks up, teeth grit, eyes narrowd.]
YOu're not going to see the fucking wolf again, alright? What else is there to explain here.
He looks up, teeth grit, eyes narrowd.]
YOu're not going to see the fucking wolf again, alright? What else is there to explain here.
Yeah, how do you know tha---- that...
[ The other shoe drops while James is in the middle of a slightly annoyed retort and then James finds himself unable to say anything for a moment. Earlier in this conversation, he'd caught himself thinking that a were-dragon is way weirder than a werewolf. He'd also caught himself thinking that the werewolf must have been on the run from the dragon. On the run, like Keith was on the run. Keith who seemed to know about the wolf, despite apparently not having met it in the mountains...
His throat goes dry as the pieces all click into place. His brain is still protesting, still calling to him that he is jumping to conclusions too fast, but his heart... His heart is registering in an instant that it had been Keith to look at him that haunting, terrifying way.
And of course, it'd be Keith.
It could almost be hilarious that every time, every single time, something gets under his skin, it turns out to be Keith. ]
You're... There's a lot to explain here actually, but... [ James tries to take a calm and steady breath and he fails, but... the attempt is still helpful at collecting himself. ]
Are you really alright?
[ The other shoe drops while James is in the middle of a slightly annoyed retort and then James finds himself unable to say anything for a moment. Earlier in this conversation, he'd caught himself thinking that a were-dragon is way weirder than a werewolf. He'd also caught himself thinking that the werewolf must have been on the run from the dragon. On the run, like Keith was on the run. Keith who seemed to know about the wolf, despite apparently not having met it in the mountains...
His throat goes dry as the pieces all click into place. His brain is still protesting, still calling to him that he is jumping to conclusions too fast, but his heart... His heart is registering in an instant that it had been Keith to look at him that haunting, terrifying way.
And of course, it'd be Keith.
It could almost be hilarious that every time, every single time, something gets under his skin, it turns out to be Keith. ]
You're... There's a lot to explain here actually, but... [ James tries to take a calm and steady breath and he fails, but... the attempt is still helpful at collecting himself. ]
Are you really alright?
Edited 2019-05-31 01:43 (UTC)
[Calming breaths are an excellent idea, though not something that really seems to help lessen the intensity of that prickling on his skin. Keith swallows back a hard lump at the question, surprised that James, even now, is inquiring after his welfare and--]
Are you kidding me? You're the one -- [A sharp intake a breatth, fingers digging in harder into his legs.] You're the one who got scared by running into me! You're the one who -- I should be asking you that question, idiot.
[Never mind the fact that he feels like if he lets his legs go, that his whole body might break apart.]
I-- just stop. Okay? You can be as mad as you want.
Are you kidding me? You're the one -- [A sharp intake a breatth, fingers digging in harder into his legs.] You're the one who got scared by running into me! You're the one who -- I should be asking you that question, idiot.
[Never mind the fact that he feels like if he lets his legs go, that his whole body might break apart.]
I-- just stop. Okay? You can be as mad as you want.
Edited 2019-05-31 01:53 (UTC)
[ Mad...? That's further than James had gotten in his thoughts so far. Really, it feels downright bizarre that Keith would feel so apologetic for having startled him, when in the past he'd pulled a flaming sword on James. That had been worth apology, but now... ]
I'm not the one who got attacked.
[ He's just putting the thought out there, cautiously, keeping his voice matter of fact. The wolf had scared him, yes, but in the end... nothing had happened. Keith merely ran past him. James would be pretty pathetic to be in worse shape than Keith is, just over that. ]
You... I don't like that you hid this from me, but right now... You got attacked by two types of creatures and ran for your life down here. That seems to be of higher priority to me.
[ While talking, James slowly gets off his bed and walks over to Keith's. Cautious, just waiting to be rejected again. ]
I'm not the one who got attacked.
[ He's just putting the thought out there, cautiously, keeping his voice matter of fact. The wolf had scared him, yes, but in the end... nothing had happened. Keith merely ran past him. James would be pretty pathetic to be in worse shape than Keith is, just over that. ]
You... I don't like that you hid this from me, but right now... You got attacked by two types of creatures and ran for your life down here. That seems to be of higher priority to me.
[ While talking, James slowly gets off his bed and walks over to Keith's. Cautious, just waiting to be rejected again. ]
Edited 2019-05-31 02:00 (UTC)
[Perhaps to James' surprise though, Keith doesn't comment on his approach and instead stares up at him warily.]
I already told you. I wasn't hurt. [A beat.] And I wasn't scared either.
[It's stated with grit, but not hostility.]
We went looking for trouble, alright? I thought -- she said some things that reminded me of [My life.] ... She said she blanks out whenever she's threatened. I thought she might've been like me is all. Wasn't expecting.... [Keith shakes his head, looking away.]
I already know it was dumb, so you don't have to beat me over the head with that. I didn't mean for you to.... [Deep breath, deep breath.] Look, I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry.
I already told you. I wasn't hurt. [A beat.] And I wasn't scared either.
[It's stated with grit, but not hostility.]
We went looking for trouble, alright? I thought -- she said some things that reminded me of [My life.] ... She said she blanks out whenever she's threatened. I thought she might've been like me is all. Wasn't expecting.... [Keith shakes his head, looking away.]
I already know it was dumb, so you don't have to beat me over the head with that. I didn't mean for you to.... [Deep breath, deep breath.] Look, I'm sorry, ok? I'm sorry.
[ Not being rejected in his approach is... nice, really. A good change of pace. Emboldened by the lack of hostility, James climbs onto the bed and sits down next to Keith. He keeps a reasonable distance, as if dealing with an easy to startle animal (and isn't that quite the comparison now?), but some conversations are better had in close proximity instead of across a room.
The story sounds, well, very like Keith. And James would indeed be scolding him for being stupid and putting someone else in danger, but... Not now, not like this. ]
Okay. [ It's James' turn to take a deep breath. ] It's okay.
[ That seems like the most important thing to get out first. ]
You just ran past me. Nothing happened. You don't need to be sorry for that.
The story sounds, well, very like Keith. And James would indeed be scolding him for being stupid and putting someone else in danger, but... Not now, not like this. ]
Okay. [ It's James' turn to take a deep breath. ] It's okay.
[ That seems like the most important thing to get out first. ]
You just ran past me. Nothing happened. You don't need to be sorry for that.
[That's a degree of intrusion into his personal space that Keith wasn't expecting. As James takes a seat on the mattress, he freezes up, shoulders rounded as he tugs his knees closer.
None of this is adding up in a way that makes sense. Why isn't James backing off or leaving? Where's the outrage over not being told he was rooming with a werewolf for months? Where's the --
Keith forces himself to take another deep breath. His thoughts are going a thousand miles a minute and all they're doing is crashing into each other and setting off more chain reactions in the process. He bites his lip, closing his eyes for a few seconds before replying.]
.... you don't have to come closer just to prove a point, you know.
None of this is adding up in a way that makes sense. Why isn't James backing off or leaving? Where's the outrage over not being told he was rooming with a werewolf for months? Where's the --
Keith forces himself to take another deep breath. His thoughts are going a thousand miles a minute and all they're doing is crashing into each other and setting off more chain reactions in the process. He bites his lip, closing his eyes for a few seconds before replying.]
.... you don't have to come closer just to prove a point, you know.
[ Just when James stopped expecting Keith to be predictable, Keith decides to fall exactly into the expected pattern. Leave it to Keith to give James whiplash every second of the day.
The pattern this is now following is James' least favourite. No matter what he does, it always falls under this uncharitable umbrella of 'proving a point' and 'making himself look good'. Keith is so insistent about that, James could almost start believing it himself. It's irritating to be constantly second-guessed this way, irritating and destabilizing. Luckily James has better sense than to sigh at it now.
Fine. If this is how Keith wants to spin it, James will play his game. He breathes deeply once more, never averting his gaze from Keith, even if Keith isn't meeting his eyes. ]
Maybe some points are worth proving.
The pattern this is now following is James' least favourite. No matter what he does, it always falls under this uncharitable umbrella of 'proving a point' and 'making himself look good'. Keith is so insistent about that, James could almost start believing it himself. It's irritating to be constantly second-guessed this way, irritating and destabilizing. Luckily James has better sense than to sigh at it now.
Fine. If this is how Keith wants to spin it, James will play his game. He breathes deeply once more, never averting his gaze from Keith, even if Keith isn't meeting his eyes. ]
Maybe some points are worth proving.
[His gaze remains focused solely on his hands, like there's an invisible barrier around him that keeps the rest of the world out so long as he stays where he is.]
Aren't you supposed to be scared. I could bite you any time.
[His voice is flat, quiet. It's not a challenge by any means, just a simple repetition of facts that they've both read in their textbooks about magical creatures. Lycanthropes are dangerous and cursed creatures.]
Aren't you supposed to be scared. I could bite you any time.
[His voice is flat, quiet. It's not a challenge by any means, just a simple repetition of facts that they've both read in their textbooks about magical creatures. Lycanthropes are dangerous and cursed creatures.]
You didn't bite me when we were in middle school together and hated each other. You didn't bite me in the months we lived together. You didn't bite me earlier today when you were running in a frenzy and I was in your way.
[ While he speaks, he scoots closer, until his side is nearly touching Keith's. Because yes, maybe now that Keith has brought it up, he does want to prove a point. ]
If I'd just met you and found this out about you right after? Yeah, I'd be scared. But that isn't the case. You had ample reason to bite me for basically all our lives and I'm still here. Hard to be terrified now.
[ While he speaks, he scoots closer, until his side is nearly touching Keith's. Because yes, maybe now that Keith has brought it up, he does want to prove a point. ]
If I'd just met you and found this out about you right after? Yeah, I'd be scared. But that isn't the case. You had ample reason to bite me for basically all our lives and I'm still here. Hard to be terrified now.
[He registers the movement closer in his peripheral vision, and only breathes again when James stops.]
You weren't worth dying over.
[Because that was surely the end result of transforming around anyone. Even now, surrounded by all sorts of magical creatures and entities, it's still hard to shake the need to keep everything suppressed and hidden so that people don't turn on him. Still looking at his hands only, he takes another deep breath.]
You weren't worth dying over.
[Because that was surely the end result of transforming around anyone. Even now, surrounded by all sorts of magical creatures and entities, it's still hard to shake the need to keep everything suppressed and hidden so that people don't turn on him. Still looking at his hands only, he takes another deep breath.]
[ Dying, huh... Well, his father surely would stop at nothing to get rid of the werewolf that dared attack James, so this isn't an unreasonable statement. Keith didn't know about his father though.... There's a story here and James, at some point, wants to hear it. ]
I'm still not worth dying over, so there's nothing to fear.
I'm still not worth dying over, so there's nothing to fear.
[That's weirdly self deprecating from James, regardless of context, and it gets Keith to glance over if only for a brief moment. Maybe it isn't that weird. James has been thinking a lot of self deprecating things that he hadn't imagined the other capable of doing back at Arizona.]
You -- [Averting his eyes again.] So you're really going to insist on this friends thing? Even now?
You -- [Averting his eyes again.] So you're really going to insist on this friends thing? Even now?
I am.
[ And as sad as it is that Keith is so incredulous about it, it does help James to contextualize all the mistrustful assumptions Keith makes in regards to James' attempts. Maybe it isn't entirely James, maybe it isn't entirely the past they share... Maybe it's just Keith and whatever happened in his life far away from James' view. ]
I've got a lot of questions about all of this, but that one, I am sure of.
[ And as sad as it is that Keith is so incredulous about it, it does help James to contextualize all the mistrustful assumptions Keith makes in regards to James' attempts. Maybe it isn't entirely James, maybe it isn't entirely the past they share... Maybe it's just Keith and whatever happened in his life far away from James' view. ]
I've got a lot of questions about all of this, but that one, I am sure of.
[The stubborn as hell answer is something he's come to expect from James for... well, for whatever reason. It'd never really taken root as anything particularly meaningful -- or at least, it was never allowed to become anything to count on as having real depth.
Hearing this same thing affirmed now leaves Keith feeling like someone's reached into his body and pulled out part of his soul and put it in his hand where it's crawled up into the fetal position, all vulnerable and scared. Inexplicably, he wants to laugh, but he doesn't really know at what or why.
Throat tightening, Keith swallows dryly.]
You... really are an idiot, you know that.
[....which shouldn't make him smile, but he does so anyway in secret.]
Hearing this same thing affirmed now leaves Keith feeling like someone's reached into his body and pulled out part of his soul and put it in his hand where it's crawled up into the fetal position, all vulnerable and scared. Inexplicably, he wants to laugh, but he doesn't really know at what or why.
Throat tightening, Keith swallows dryly.]
You... really are an idiot, you know that.
[....which shouldn't make him smile, but he does so anyway in secret.]
[ This time, James does heave a sigh, deep and exaggerated. It's a sigh of relaxation more than it is of frustration, in actuality.]
Right back at you.
[ In truth, none of Keith's current concerns are particularly idiotic, but Keith has racked up enough dumbass points that James can call him one without guilt anyway. ]
You keep shaking up what I think of you, but it's nice to have that constant.
Right back at you.
[ In truth, none of Keith's current concerns are particularly idiotic, but Keith has racked up enough dumbass points that James can call him one without guilt anyway. ]
You keep shaking up what I think of you, but it's nice to have that constant.
[The way this conversation is flowing is familiar. Banter and insults back and forth, and it helps Keith find some solid footing again after an earthwuake. He doesn't look up, still looking only at his hands which he opens and closes.]
You just made a lot of assumptions about me. Not my fault you're wrong a lot.
You just made a lot of assumptions about me. Not my fault you're wrong a lot.
[He takes a deep breath, letting it out in an audible sigh.]
So what do you think about me now? No sugarcoating.
[The question feels wrong on all levels. He never cared what James thought of him before, never cared what James thought at all. As nonchalant as he wants to be about this, and as indifferent as he wishes he could be about the answer, part of him can't and won't relax until he knows.]
So what do you think about me now? No sugarcoating.
[The question feels wrong on all levels. He never cared what James thought of him before, never cared what James thought at all. As nonchalant as he wants to be about this, and as indifferent as he wishes he could be about the answer, part of him can't and won't relax until he knows.]
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